So Good It Hurts

Romans 8; Numbers 13 & 14

I have never heard of a dry battlefield that bore no sweat, tears and blood stains. No one is escaping this world without pain. The uncertainty in the midst of urgency cries alone at midnight for fear of no way out. In my own actions, my spirit becomes faint and I thirst for Him. My sin is ever before me and seeps from my flesh as I await His holy kiss. When life gets like this, I occasionally forget what He began in me with faith in my endurance. Then, when I have come near hopelessness, His power sprints through my blood and it revives me to remind me that His grace is enough and there is work to be done.

No one can tell me that God is not real. No one can convince me to believe that I survived misery alone. Supernatural miracles attest to the power I received when I spoke Christ’s name. Alone I would have crumbled, but, because of Him, I endured. God’s grace was sufficient through temptation and disappointments. When I was weak, He made me run. When I was in need, He provided for me, but when I asked Him, perpetually, to take this cup from me, He would not. At first, I admit, I felt betrayed, but He reminded me of His love as He whispered and awakened my spirit. He reminded me that He has always been faithful, and His gift to me requires my faith in return. Therefore, before I rejoiced, I believed that He was present with me and I was convinced that His promise was real. Before He blessed me, He humbled me. I was compelled to seek Him, even though my heart was weary. I know He heard my cry because He rescued me.

I can not comprehend my praise unless I have been drenched in sorrow. My best praise is accompanied by a testimony. My true praise tells how I was mocked, lied on, and forced to my knees with my fingers clutched and my eyes wet looking toward heaven. My praise is a witness to the chains that coiled my wrists with strong embrace. My praise tells strangers and confidents that I survived by His grace; my worship tells God that I am grateful that He allowed me to seek His face. Paul spoke proudly of his prison confinement and boldly of his sufferings. He saw past the injustice and into the heart of God. He knew that his testimony could introduce salvation to the most doubtful soul if he remained faithful. Paul understood that his pain was about more than him.

When we suffer, it may not be all about ourselves, but our suffering does not go unnoticed. If disobedience reaps destruction; then, remaining righteous, even through the fire, reaps blessings. In John 15:7, Jesus said, “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given [to] you.” Jesus’ name gives access to anything that is good. (Psalms 34:10) While you’re going through, remaining may not seem like the best idea based on what you are feeling. Unfortunately, we trigger so many different emotions from our thoughts. A lot of times, our actions are based on our emotions rather than logical reasoning or what we know. It is important to know who God is and what He has promised those who love Him, because once you know the truth, you can stop focusing on the chaos and start expecting the best. Jesus prompted us to remain in Him because He knew it was going to get hard. Not only did He know it, but He experienced it. God is simply asking for our loyalty. He is saying, “No matter what you are going through right now, and regardless of how you are feeling right now, continue to seek me, stick close to me, and do not deny me, because, when it’s all over, I will not deny you.”

Because our thoughts have such great influence over our minds, I want to remind you, like Paul and Timothy reminded the church of Philippi, to think on things that are true, noble, righteous, pure, lovely, and admirable. (Philippians 4:8-9) Even more, I encourage you to meditate on God’s faithfulness to you and the promise that He has already set aside for you, should you choose to follow Him. Remember the time He spent on the cross as He suffered unjustly. Think about the shame His enemies and murderers must have felt when he left his clothes behind in the tomb and departed the earth and entered into glory with all power in His hands. Understand that the God who gave up His son for our souls’ sake will also give us all things freely with grace. (Romans 8:32) Contemplate on what an honor it is to be called a child of God, thus a co-heir with Christ. (Romans 8:17) Then you will understand how you suffer in order to share in Christ’s glory. It is foolish to think that we will share His glory without understanding His affliction first. Anyone can abide with Him when life is well, but when persecution and terror bombard us, God will reveal to us what He has known all along: just how much we love Him. If we can be faithful through our tests and trials, we prove to God and ourselves that we can be steadfast when we have the ability to do even greater works than Christ did when He was on earth. (John 14:12-14)

Therefore, suffering was not meant to break us, but to make us stronger and ready to bear lasting fruit. (John 15:16) We suffer to be made in the image of Christ. (Romans 8:29) In our suffering we should be provoked to praise and rejoicing for the glory that awaits us. The question is: “Do you have the courage to reap your harvest?”

It is hard to conceive that there is glory ahead of you, because you have been in the wilderness for so long. It is not that God abandoned you, because He has been providing your needs all along. It is the wait that makes our knees buckle and the disappointments that make us uncertain which we call suffering, but God calls it preparation. I have learned that I panic when things don’t go my way, but perhaps God is waiting for me to get to a place where I am calm through my storm. It is possible that He wants to reveal to me my strengths to ensure that I am ready for what He has ahead of me. I believe He even wants to reveal His amazing grace to us so much that we have the courage to step out on faith when the time presents itself.

Through our tests and trials we are given our own stories to reflect on, but God was also kind in sharing the Israelites’ journey to their promised land. It was a blessing and a miracle that they were delivered from Egypt’s bondage, but Israel had their own idea of freedom, and it looked nothing like the wilderness. When the Israelites were loosed from bondage, they weren’t satisfied. God had put them through situations that tested their faith and Israel was failing. They focused on the difficulties, such as their need for food and water and the tedious journey, rather than recognizing the provision and faithfulness of God. Israel was so dissatisfied and ungrateful that they regretted their independence. They believed that it would be better to suffer under the Pharaoh’s authority than to be secure in God’s grace. Their walk with God required faith, but they had none. No matter how bad a situation looked, or how impossible it seemed to achieve victory, Israel had to learn to trust God—that was the lesson and the revelation they needed in order to succeed. Israel had to understand that they weren’t suffering at all; in fact, they had to realize that they were blessed.

            It is important to be patient and know that we are blessed in any condition. There is no need to worry when we are in the will of God. The perseverance required to endure this experience is necessary to build character. This character made of hope is the person we need to be when it comes time to possess our promise. The old character, before the wilderness, didn’t have enough courage to see past the obstacle and through the eyes of God to receive the blessing. The old character couldn’t appreciate the blessing or bless the world with the story of how we got through. Remember that God’s promise to Jacob was to bless the world through his descendants, (Genesis 28:14) and, if that was going to be done, Israel was going to need a testimony.  God also promised Jacob, “I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying.” (Genesis 28:13) It was the suffering that they had conquered that allowed Joshua the son of Nun and Caleb the son of Jephunneh to move fearlessly into their land “flowing with milk and honey.” Before the Israelites had possessed their land, God told Moses to send some men to explore the land of Canaan so that they could see the promise ahead of time. I believe that we all want to see what is ahead of us. If we could only get a peak at what God has for us we can be more confident in our struggles and more fearless through our journey. When the men from every tribe stepped into the hill country to explore the land they saw that the land was good. The men came back and reported to Moses:

"We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit. ²⁸ But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there. ²⁹ The Amalekites live in the Negev; the Hittites, Jebusites and Amorites live in the hill country; and the Canaanites live near the sea and along the Jordan."

Numbers 13: 27-29

So it seems there were some good news and some bad news. The land was plentiful and everything that God had promised them, but they had also noticed some fortified cities that seemed impossible to conquer. Once again, the Israelites were being challenged and they began to complain and regret their independence. They had disregarded the good land that God had given them and they were defeated before they even tried to possess their land. The Israelites saw their blessing and believed it was real, but they lacked the faith they needed to be victorious. They complained and doubted that they were able to defeat the cities. God had shown them his power throughout their journey to this place, yet they still protested and wished to go back to Egypt.

            How can we expect to be victorious if we don’t know who we are and the favor we have from God? Faith is acting on what you believe. You can not succeed simply because of what you know is truth. Imagine how disappointed God was. God had brought Israel through so many trials and preserved their lives for years, yet they still didn’t have enough faith to act on what they believed. Only a few of them had enough courage to step out on faith. These few were able to remember what God had brought them through before and they were sure that God would do it again. The problem with lacking faith is that without it we can not expect anything from God. (James 1:7) When God became angry with Israel for their doubt, He gave them exactly what they had believed in their hearts. They believed they would die where they were and they did. God also became angry with the men who came back from the land and spread a bad report. God sent the leaders of Israel to see that the land was good, not to spread doubt throughout the people’s hearts. Joshua and Caleb focused on what God had given them, rather than on the challenge, and they were able to lead the courageous Israelites into the land. Those men who spread doubt throughout the community were struck down and died of a plague. When Moses told the people what happened to their leaders, they finally were remorseful and promised to move toward their new land, but it was too late. They had already denied God and God was no longer with them. When they went up against the cities, they were attacked and beaten.

            Many of the Israelites didn’t learn anything from their suffering. They had never received the revelation they needed in order to live in their land. Their hearts were hardened and they couldn’t comprehend what a blessing it was to be in the hands of God. Imagine if Jesus had been too afraid to go to Calvary. What would our lives be like today? Jesus knew how important it was to be obedient and trust God. He believed that His suffering would only be for a time and would offer salvation to a dying world. It wasn’t enough for Jesus to believe, though. He had to act on His belief, take up His cross, and die for us. Instead of focusing on His death and the pain He would endure, He focused on His promise. He knew that all power would be in His name and that in His name people would be healed, delivered and set free; therefore, He stepped out on faith and trusted God to help Him overcome this world. Before Christ died, He had a testimony that He pleased God with His faith. He had performed miracles with God’s power and suffered through people’s unbelief, yet He remembered His promises even through his turmoil.

            Romans 8:28-30 clarifies some things. One, God has a purpose for our lives, no doubt. We were predestined for some meaningful moment. Two, God’s desire is that we be conformed to the image of Christ. God wants us to walk like, talk like and live like Christ; then, we can be sons and daughters of God and thus siblings to Christ. Three, once we are called and receive our calling we go through a period where we are justified. To justify is to make right. This is important to understand because once we decide to live for Christ we go through a period of tribulation which is necessary to justify us so that we are prepared for the purpose he called us for. The last sentence in verse 30 is “whom he justified, them he also glorified.” God’s desire is to glorify us that we might glorify him. Verse 18 of Romans 8 assures us that our sufferings are not in vain, but that glory is to come!
           

Knowing this now, I can suffer, because I know that suffering has the power to set the captive free. It is easy to give into feeling sorry for yourself. This is something my grandmother Bea has always told me. When I graduated college, I was looking forward to working, paying off debt, having my independence and worshipping my God the way He called me to worship Him. Things didn’t work out the way I had planned right away. The Great Recession had left so many people jobless. I and many of my classmates were unable to find employment and wondered how we would pay off our loans and debts. My future wasn’t looking bright, in fact, I was becoming despondent. Some nights I cried. Some days I rejoiced. Soon, I realized that God just wanted me to trust Him-- not just when life was easy, but whenever life was hard and nothing seemed right. I was on fire for God and so grateful that He had set me free when I graduated, but when all of the chaos came into my life it was time for me to show God how serious I was about him. I refused to miss out on my blessings like the doubtful Israelites. God was in control and I was going to be a witness to how He sustains His children even when they’re bound in chains and heartache. As I waited for God to bless me and remove me from my dry place, I was changing. I was becoming the woman He wanted me to be. I believe that He kept me out of the world to have my attention. God had things to show me and promises to tell me.

            Saints, we must endure. We must keep our minds on the kingdom and kingdom business. What has God called you to do? Seek him and find out and keep him first. Do not care for the things of this world. Count your blessings with thanksgiving unto the Lord. Focus on him and the work that needs to be done for the kingdom. There is no need to worry; he will supply our needs and give us the desires of our hearts. (Philippians 4:4-9 & Luke 22:28-31 & John 4:31-38) We need only to know that our blessing is so good, that it hurts. 

God's Favorite Man

Genesis 37-45

In the jungle, where lions and tigers and bears rival for the kingdom—scratching and biting and scheming against heaven— if we seek to find the disease that infects and distracts, the microscope magnifies the throne.

 The throne reeks of riches, the beloved bacteria thriving in our blood, the cancer metastasizing to the four corners of the earth. The throne illuminates in the jungle and burns the ghetto with its toxic rays. It smells like honey, but, if you touch it, it burns.

The love of money is the root of all evil. (1 Ti. 6:10) It is the road to perdition which destroys spiritual fruit that creates a better society. We are dying in the jungle because our hope is in money, not in the power of God.

The lion rules in the jungle, on its glistening throne, appointing and disapproving, while setting the standards, calling the shots, and admonishing poverty. If everything goes according to plan, the rich prevail and the poor are simply forgotten, but the love of God has taught us different. Though the son, whose sacrifice expressed the greatest love, is so easily rejected for fear and hatred, but has the intention to bless abundantly, he is the model for service and humility. There is much to be said about the Apostles and the three thousand converted souls in one community acknowledged in the book of Acts. Acts 2:44 says that all that believed were together and had all things common. They sold their possessions and goods and gave to every man as he needed. There was a sense of responsibility for each other that escaped the exonerative world. The lion would have watched the tigers and bears hustle their way up the ladder of success while sneering at the ones who achieved the least; daunting the poor, but the community of ferocious beings who are forgotten used their power for good to establish their own kingdom despite their lack of monetary wealth.

Unfortunately and deviously, the African American communities have suffered the consequences and my concern is for the Black men, its back bone. The unruly fact concerning Black men is that, according to the Justice Policy Institute, 791,600 Black men are behind bars compared to 603,032 of Black men enrolled in college. The Justice Department figures relate 50% of Black men in jail to violent crimes and the other 20% are related to drug crimes. Meanwhile, government spending clearly conveyed its priorities as it decreased the Higher Education budget to $10.7 billion and increased the budget for correction facilities to $20 billion which is a 166% increase from 1980 to 2000 compared to the 24% increase for Higher Education. (“Cell Blocks or Classrooms? The Funding of Higher Education and Corrections and its Impact on African American men.”) These statistics expose how education has suffered as a result to the government taking more interest in putting Black men behind bars as opposed to desk chairs.

Though my concern is for the Black men, my advice is to the community: aspire to be the best you can be, and use the difficult times to create better moments together. These statistics are heart breaking and alarming. I understand the daunting is overwhelming for the young brothers and it sometimes compels them to react in a crazy way, but there is something that has to be done about the issue and we can’t wait for the government to fix this problem. Before the prison boom, Black men in college outnumbered Black men behind bars. I suppose this was during the time when Black people stood together on a common ground for justice and freedom. The moment we became complacent, our Black men became the target of injustice just as they were when much more than the recorded 4,000 Black men were lynched for petty crimes during the beginning of the twentieth century. Despite statistics there is something about a Black man that I find confidence in. He is the soul of the community, and so much more.

A Black man is a jewel, something rare, not ordinary and such a beautiful creature.

More than often, he is looked at as a threat because we tend to miss the best part of him that seeks to be understood. And why not understand these men? Not one of them is the same as another. There are many shades to accommodate a woman’s desire. Some wish to be doctors, lawyers, philosophers, athletes and teachers. Not all of them hold narcotics in their back pockets while standing on the block lurking aimlessly. This is only a stereotype, and while some Black men, and not only Black men, do occupy street corners, others posture themselves in desk chairs eager to learn and achieve something.

While I persuade you that Black men are more than how they are perceived, I must also inform you about their strengths. If you look into the eyes of most Black men, more than likely they carry stories. These stories give them a sort of passion, yet make them uncertain toward life. They have a passion to survive and overcome adversity, and at the same time, they wonder if survival is possible. The strength is in his mind. The epiphany that this man must receive is that there are no handicaps besides a despondent heart. His passion certainly travels far beyond his stereotype. There is some goal much more powerful than the security of riches-- there is a yearning for a peace in identity.  

 

The key ingredient this man must carry in his essence is hope. He must be both determined and confident enough to be more than what the world calls him both publicly and behind closed doors; then, he can be whatever his heart and mind desires. The former character of this man; broken down, bruised, and despised for his strength, must lose to the new man of endless possibilities, victory, and peace with the comfort of the Holy Spirit. No matter what class he represents in this jungle called life, there is no one, but himself, who can hold him back.

 

There is only one thing more valuable than platinum chains, diamonds, and other precious stones. Favor is your spiritual visa, with platinum benefits—it has no limit and it’s accepted everywhere. Whatever you need is God’s pleasure to provide. Favor is special gifts glued to your fingertips. On a rainy day, favor is the rainbow dipped into a pot of gold. For a prosperous life, God’s favor is the ice that illuminates your neck and strengthens your confidence. There is no challenge or disappointment great enough to keep you from your destiny when God rules your heart. Alone, you wither as a branch cast into an abandoned field, but accompanied with God’s grace and power, you flourish as the green grass under the morning sun. (2 Corinthians 6:1)

 

If Joseph could speak, his wisdom would say that a set back is God’s mysterious way of setting a stage for his grace. Sure, God could devise a more delicate journey to our blessing, but the rough path better presents his glory. Capital is a universal burden that drains the life out of billions of people every day. The paper chase dares to challenge God for his seat in heavenly places, but, no match for God, dollar bills slip through fingertips and confound the people—who will you trust now?

Joseph was a man to whom God gave dreams and visions. He was a shepherd at the age of seventeen, but he knew, regardless of where he came from, he would be mighty and blessed one day. Stapled to the vision, there was no road map suggesting the route he should have taken. Thrilled about God’s promises to him, he shared his dreams with his family, but envy blinded their eyes and shoved hatred down his brother’s hearts. They sought to kill him out of jealousy, but not before God had done what he promised. Instead, they sold him to the Ishmaelites. The jealousy and acts of hatred were all Satan’s way of intervening. Joseph’s circumstances looked bad, but God was not finished with him. What looked like harmful intervention was only disguising God’s true intentions.

Joseph’s reactions to hurt and disappointments are what make him a worthy candidate to represent the shape of a brother’s perseverance. If you live long enough, you will become accustomed to disappointments. Disappointments are as likely as the clouds in the sky, but you can’t necessarily expect rain because of a clouds form. Perhaps it will profit you to hope for a beautiful day instead of counting the day a loss. If it rains, who is to say that the sun won’t shine tomorrow? Like Joseph, the community’s lack of support can seem like a stumbling block. You may have been lied on and set up for failure, or when you take a step forward you soon take three steps back. Regardless of his circumstances, Joseph remained positive because he remembered what God promised him.

 

By appearance, the universe may not look as though it stretches for light years, but the truth is that it is bigger than we realize, and so is God’s plan for us. When Joseph was sold to the Ishmaelites by his brothers, he couldn’t have guessed that he would have become Potiphar’s attendant. And just when God’s favor became evident, Joseph took a step back. Potiphar’s wife asked Joseph to sleep with her and when he chose not to sin against God or betray his boss, she lied on him and accused him of trying to sleep with her. Her husband’s reaction was to throw Joseph in jail. Joseph was innocent, yet God let him go to prison, but not without a plan. In prison, Joseph met a cupbearer who had a dream that he could not understand, but Joseph was able to interpret the dream, which eventually proved to be true. When the cupbearer retrieved his job with the Pharaoh, Pharaoh had a dream that no one could interpret. The cupbearer remembered Joseph and referred him to the Pharaoh.

The Pharaoh’s dream was so important because it foretold God’s plans for the land of Egypt. God had planned to give Egypt seven years of great abundance and seven years of severe famine to follow. Joseph, with God’s wisdom, advised the Pharaoh to appoint someone to take provision over the land for the seven abundant years. This man would take a fifth of the harvest and collect all the food and store up the grains under supervision. The food was reserved for the famine that followed the seven abundant years. This was going to be a trying time for Egypt and the people who depended on its wealth. The Pharaoh was so pleased with Joseph’s favor and interpretation that he put him in charge of the whole land. No one could “lift a hand or foot in Egypt” without Joseph’s permission. The Pharaoh handed over to Joseph his signet ring which signified authority, dressed him in robes of fine linen which represented majesty, and put a gold chain around his neck which gave him confidence. Joseph was the most favored upon the land. Though he began herding sheep in his father’s soil, he became a shepherd over the whole land of Egypt, guiding and protecting his community.

Meanwhile, Joseph’s brothers, the ones who despised him for his calling and swore to dispose of his blessing, suffered in Canaan because of the famine and traveled to Egypt because they heard there was food there. At this moment, Joseph’s dream was manifested. Joseph’s brothers had indeed bowed down to him. His brother’s could not return home without grain or they would surely die. It took Joseph a while to reveal himself to his brothers and when he did he commanded them: “Load your animals and return to the land of Canaan, and bring your father and your families back to me.” Joseph rewarded their hatred with love and recognized God’s plan to do something greater for his family. He understood that what his brothers did to him was divine destiny that would preserve their lives.

Now, it becomes evident that the paper chase is no longer relevant. Death and hatred is no longer relevant. The illegal ownership and distribution of a being’s sex in every sense is no longer relevant. Taking that, which is not yours, is no longer relevant. All of these examples are irrelevant because of the passion you have in your heart. The passion can’t be the money, because money is temporary gain and glory. The passion is what you dream about when you carry out your daily routine. It is what makes you smile when you are smothered in chaos. It is what you secretly pray for on your knees during your evening prayer. The only reason some brothers continue to hustle on street corners or sleep in jail cells is because they pray, but they don’t believe. Some believe, but refuse to repent, and others repent, but the disappointments cause them to lose sight of their promise and lose their faith. The secret about disappointments is that we have no knowledge of God’s perfect will for our lives, so we create our own assumptions which conflict with God’s will. What is wonderful about God’s will is that it is the best will. On the other hand, we tremble at God’s will because we, like Joseph, do not understand the journey. Along the journey we meet tears we never expected, shame from defeat, and the fear of uncertainty, but like Joseph, we need to focus on the favor we have as we go through it and hope in the glory we will receive in the blessing. The blessing is for more than just yourself, it is about your community.

By the grace of God, there is a plethora of men in God’s word that exemplify the characters that we should both embrace and shake off. It is my desire to expound on the character of a man that stands firm in faith, recognizes his vision, transforms his mind, and reaches the ultimate success. First, this man must eliminate fear.

I have got to be free

I love to write because it is my best form of communicating with the people around me. When I speak, sometimes I get nervous and it just does not come out right, but when I write I can be so clear and I tend to expose even the things that I am ashamed of about myself. I don’t know, maybe I am afraid to hear my sins out loud. Maybe then it becomes real. Well, there is one thing that sits at the pit of my stomach taunting me and daring me to release it, and it doesn’t care where it comes out or from which end. So I will be somewhat of a coward and release my imperfection the best way I know how, and I won’t regret it. I suggest that if there is something that you have been holding in that has, in any way, hindered you from thinking higher, find your best medium and let go…

Now that I am nearly 25 years old, I know more than I did when I was a child thinking as a child. I was innocuous as God intended me to be. I was discouraged and I believe that God did not condone it. For whatever reason, I do not believe that God expected me to live in self pity or disappointment my whole life, as I thought he did. I guess this is why it is said in Ephesians 6:4, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The simple reality is that I am not the only one who had to grow up to understand life. It takes experiences and many hardships and joyous occasions to gain even an ounce of wisdom. I know now that I was hurt and broken as a child, even with a God fearing mother who nurtured and loved me with everything she had. Even still, I felt abandoned and useless and my father was to blame.

There are so many of us who have experienced that feeling from youth where there is an absence of a parent. We have been told to get over it and not even sure what part to overcome. Some were told that you weren’t the only person to experience that pain, but in your selfishness you could only understand your own feelings, and rightfully so, you were inexperienced and innocent. Someone else had to live with it, and, as a result, so did you. In my mutinous teen years, I decided that I had a right to be angry and feel wrath in my heart, and I rebelled against everyone who told me to forget about it.

Needless to say, my wrath spread like cancer and latched on to innocent by-standards who had no clue what was coming there way. Poor things, they had no clue that it was no ordinary man who ripped my heart into pieces, it was my own blood. It was my father. It was a man who transmitted symbols that I decoded as rejection. I was furious and I had nothing to give because I didn’t like this little girl who was discarded, disregarded, and still unexposed to a method of true healing.

Then, I got older. I reached out to my cancer and said I will fix this. I will heal my wounds, I will be courageous and strong and I will devise an answer whether it is true or not. I was determined to understand and have what was not given to me. So I asked my father to explain himself and I demanded a relationship. Sparks flew and my wrath was a consuming flame. He was impassive and unresponsive, but I was literally destroyed.

So I stopped.

The loneliness I felt, I prayed and asked God to take it away. I declared that I must be set free. Paul said that the word of God is not bound, so it didn’t matter the plight my physical body and my mind endured. I knew that God had the power to speak peace over my life no matter how I felt and I would be free because He said so. God had indeed broken that chain, but I still had more to learn.

Recently, I decided to look over my mother’s life—the experiences that she exposed me to and the feelings that she intimately shared with me as her only daughter—and I began to realize that the woman who she was at my age was no different than the woman who I embrace in my own skin. There is truly nothing new under the sun. Now that she is wiser, I look at her in amazement and I see how she has healed where scars once would not mend. I remember the mistakes she made and owned up to as a woman. In return, I look at myself and see all of my imperfections and short comings and I realize that my mistakes have hurt people. I have walked away from some people without ever wondering how they were affected. I have said things that did not build one of God’s creations up to his standards. I am, on many occasions, more selfish than necessary. I am eager, and I mean so eager that I do not use God’s strength to wait, sometimes.

Essentially, I am no different than my father at his 20 years.

He made mistakes and so have I. I held him accountable, so what makes me any different? His blood runs through my veins, though I forget this at times, but my body never disregards this truth. I had to learn to understand that I only have one Father in heaven. My dad on earth is human and made of imperfections and, just like me, he must be forgiven.

I was urged to share my revelation because I believe that no one should be chained to such pain that provokes him or her to wrath. God’s only intention is for us to grow daily. He desires for us to bear fruit in abundance. We are free to worship God no matter what earthly situation we are in. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty (2 Corinthians 3:17). He never intended for us to remain in the same broken spirit. There is a proper way of healing, and I believe I figured it out: forgiveness and mercy, because I need that everyday and I can not deny any one of mercy unless God should deny me; the spirit of God to set me free from the mind games, the lies, the hurt, and to fill the empty space; and an honest reflection of me and of the pain I have imparted to others.

The truth is—you and I were never alone. We only needed to fill our empty space with our true Father and we never truly understood how important it is to forgive others, even our father or mother, for their imperfections. If you are hurting, you need only to believe that God can speak and you will be healed. And I don't know about you, but I have got to be free!

Be blessed, family, and THINK HIGHER!!

He Can't Hurt You

Luke 10:1-24

            The illusions, the tricks and schemes, the lies and the plot planned against your life are very real, yet in spite of all the thought and time Satan put into his approach he can only build a thin wall. It is equivalent to hazy vision or the fog in the distance as the sun rises in the morning. These tactics are meant to steal your harvest and kill your vision and hope which ultimately destroys the plan that God has for your life. They are meant to make you weary and too unstable to even begin or finish sowing your seeds.

            Who knows what these abandoned seeds are destined to reap?

            It is vital that we do not remain ignorant to the truth. (1 Corinthians 2:10) Satan is a liar, and the truth is that he doesn’t want you to know the truth. First, in order to be victorious we have to know that there is an antagonist just waiting to defeat you. Jesus warned us in John 10:10 that Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy. The key is to understand when you’re under attack and then you can overcome it. In this same verse, Jesus said, contrary to what Satan has planned, God has planned something that is greater and true —life and life more abundantly, which is your harvest. It becomes clearer to us in Romans 8:29-30 that we were predestined to be like Christ, thus predestined to be victorious! We must never forget Christ’s journey to the cross and the agony he endured on that cross. His enemies thought they had him beat, until he died and rose three days later. What a victory for Christ and us! He now holds authority in His name and we are now redeemed from sin.

            So what are all the illusions about? Why is he spending so much time lurking around God’s children and seeking our demise? Through the story of Job we learn that Satan is convinced that if he tortures us enough, distorts our happy endings, and tells lies against the word of God, we will curse God and die. It is a test, and you can only pass or fail. No one likes tests, but the truth is a test can tell you a lot about what a person has learned or, more importantly, what a person believes. Jesus told us that he desires to give us an abundant life, while Satan tells us that we can’t succeed, life is too hard, and everything is just too much. The enemy says, “You’ll never pay off your bills. You’ll never own your own home. You’ll never make it out of this situation alive. You’re not good enough to be who you want to be, or worse, God doesn’t care.” These are lies from the pit of hell. The Bible says in John 3:16 that God so loved the world, that he gave his only son. And never forget that Romans 8:28 says that everything works out for your good.      

Right now, it is time to call the devil out. His one and only plan is to prevent us from spreading God’s word. If we doubt his word and have become despondent concerning His promises, how can we spread God’s word effectively, or at all? Sometimes, doubt is all it takes for some people to walk away from God and walk after the world.  

            I find the word of God, Luke 10:17-19, very interesting. Within the introduction of Luke 10 we learn that the Lord sent 70 persons besides the 12 disciples to “every city and place” to spread God’s word. God warned them in verse two and three, “The harvest is great, but the laborers are few… Behold, I send you forth as lambs among wolves.” There was certainly a reward, but for a price. But we are encouraged by the 70 who came back rejoicing and declaring to Jesus, in verse 17, that “even the demons are subject unto us through thy name.” The 70 apparently came in contact with Satan’s illusions and schemes, or the wolves that God had warned them of, but they had discovered something in the process. They remembered God’s promises and they realized that through the name of Jesus, Satan lost all his power. In response, Jesus answered the 70 with a shrug it seems saying, “I saw Satan fall from heaven.” Satan was no big deal to Jesus and he shouldn’t be a great deal to us. Jesus assured the 70 on that day that, just as they discovered, that God’s children have “power to tread upon serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” How amazing is that? We have power over the power of the enemy! What then, can possibly prevent our harvest? The answer is not Satan, but our doubt.

            Remind yourself of the doubt Peter had in Matthew 15. As Jesus walked on water, a very unrealistic act to the human mind alone, the disciples perceived that He was a spirit and cried in fear. Jesus immediately told the disciples not to fear and that it was Him. Peter, being very bold, answered, “Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.” Peter asked the Lord this knowing that only Jesus was able to keep him afloat. But the Bible says that once the wind was boisterous and it seemed impossible for Peter to make it to the Lord, he began to doubt and started to sink. All it took was some strong wind to break his bold confidence that he had initially. When Peter began to go underwater, Jesus caught him and said unto him, “O ye of little faith, why did you doubt?” I believe that God questions us the same way. Every time Satan throws chaos and confusion into our lives and causes us to doubt that God is able and will pull us out, he says why doubt? Isaiah 40:8 says, “The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the word of God stands forever,” and that is what we must believe. When the wind blows and tests our faith, we must make a liar out of Satan. God trusts us, like he trusted Job, to believe that He is able to deliver. He’s banking on us, and I believe that is why Hebrews 11:6 says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God.” God knows what we can handle, and Satan is only allowed to test us as far as we can stand.

            You might be saying, “But I can’t see the end.” I admit that God has a way of allowing us to suffer as Christ did. Paul said in 2 Timothy 2:9 that although he suffers even to the point that he is in chains, obviously being treated as an evil doer, he declared that, in spite of persecution or plots on his life, he will endure for the elect’s sake. Paul was a righteous man, who was doing what the Lord had called him to do, yet he suffered, but he makes it clear through his words that “the word of God is not bound.” No matter what Satan does, regardless of his schemes, even though things aren’t clear right now and it seems there is no way out, Paul said that God’s word can not be chained. Isaiah said that God’s word stands forever.  Solomon said in Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” And because Jesus knew the chaos that you would have to endure, he assured you that Satan can not hurt you, so the only thing you need to concern your self with is pleasing God with your faith.

I’ve come to serve you and to kiss your feet. I’ve come to adore you, can’t you see—the glisten of the sun on my forehead, and the blood seeping from my pores? All this reverence is yours. Night and day, I’ve suffered all day and night and nothing seems right. I thought I would rest for a while and dip you in oil, yes, my love will never uncoil. When it rained, I was grateful that you remembered our needs. The earth shook, so I took heed and you asked me if I really believe. Yes, Lord, I realize nothing comes easy. I think you want to me to know the best and worse part of me. I heard you speak, Lord, so here I am, this is me.

Here I am by Cheri Monique Langston

            I am so excited about the harvest we will reap as we sow faith into our lives. I can see the thin walls breaking and slamming into the ground with a mighty shout of our Savior’s name. Many times, when I approach the fog that makes the road a little hazy, I know that if I only endure for a little while I will reach my destination safe and secure in God’s hands. Later on in the day when I peep out my window and let the sun press upon my face, I’ll look back and hear God whisper in my ear, “He can’t hurt you.”

True Love

It is for love that we subject ourselves to the tears and to the comfort and security we find in our mates. It is a commitment that seems to challenge us the most. Love requires sacrifices that threaten our most pleasant rituals and it engenders emotions that we wouldn’t have recognized otherwise. Our love goes out to the people in our lives who mean the most; these are the ones who are willing to lay down their lives for us. For the sake of love, we are willing to surrender everything we have just to receive the best of the people who give love so genuinely, and anyone who dares to get in the way of this sublime submission is immediately dismissed. And so, as love goes, we cling to the ones who we love the most, and their love reciprocates immensely. With a love like this, there is no room for sin and contradictions. We simply love with extreme loyalty and that is it. Sometimes, the love grows so strong that tears flow in the midst of a bond, but if you cry you know it is worth holding on.

What a friend we have in Jesus. To depend upon his promises is a privilege and honor. To rest on his prayers and concerns (John 17) to the Father on my behalf is more than I deserve, yet He is faithful. (1 Corinthians 1:9) His steadfast love is what keeps me holding on to the dreams he planted within me rooted firmly in hope. When the world presents pessimism at its best and I feel like giving up for fear of inadequacy, God’s word says, “Be confident in this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”(Philippians 1:6)

God’s love gives to us a security in the promises He made, even when the process seems to work against what he ordained. King Solomon was ordained to be King of Israel after his father David. The first chapter of 1 Kings presents to us a situation that we may have become familiar with. It seemed as though Solomon had lost his inheritance to his brother Adonijah. When David was near death, Adonijah took it upon himself to call himself king. Adonijah appointed his office and left Solomon and his mother out of the equation. This is the part where we panic. It doesn’t look good. The situation didn’t appear to be in Solomon’s favor, but what this chapter evokes is: what God has ordained for you is indeed your blessing. The bible says that the prophet Nathan spoke to Solomon’s mother and suggested that she take counsel with King David concerning the situation. Nathan also talked to David about Adonijah’s attempt to rule Israel. David made an oath to Bathsheba, “As surely as the LORD lives, who has delivered me out of every trouble,  I will surely carry out today what I swore to you by the LORD, the God of Israel: Solomon your son shall be king after me, and he will sit on my throne in my place.” (1 Kings 1:29-30) David, then, told Nathan the prophet, Benaiah the son of Jehoiada and all of his mighty men to put Solomon on his mule and ride through the city. At Gihon, Zadok the priest and Nathan the prophet were to anoint Solomon King of Israel and blow the trumpet before the people. When Adonijah heard of the news, he feared for his life and he and the officers he appointed ran. You see, Satan can create illusions, but he can’t steal your blessing unless you let him.

 

The just shall live by faith. (Romans 1:17) God’s word lives and breathes and what He said will be manifested. Be still and never give up, because He will be exalted among the heathen. (Psalms 46:10) This is the expression of his love.

 

There is no one like God, in heaven or on earth. There is no one more selfless in giving. I mean, though He sits high, he looks low as if we are the dust of the earth, yet He considers us co-heirs to his kingdom. There is no one more deserving of our love. To my knowledge, I’ve done more to disgrace him than I have ever done to make him smile. I have spent so many days trying to please the faces I see, and lost count of His blessings disguised in ungratefulness, like the many times He hid me under His wings, which through grace I received. And through the quiet storm, when the world is silent, but God speaks like thunder and moves like lightening, I stand in awe at His love for me. He speaks with authority and tells me at each occasion that no one has the ability to love me the way He loves me. I must agree.

 

And he said, Lord God of Israel, there is no God like thee, in heaven above, or on earth beneath, who keeps covenant and mercy with thy servants that walk before thee with all their heart: Who has kept with thy servant David, my father, that thou promised him: thou spoke also with thy mouth, and has fulfilled it with thy hand, as it is this day.

King Solomon’s prayer, 1 Kings 8:23, 24

 

          Our Father’s love leaves a trail of imprints; His presence is as evident as the deer in winter snow. His love flourishes after heavy rain in the spring. During summer He shines bright like the sun at noon, and when autumn approaches, His peace emulates the still air. I am glad to love my neighbor, but what will I do when my neighbor isn’t there? I love God because He first loved me and He deserves the intimacy and devotion that I give so freely to a world that can not compare to his sovereignty. The ones I love, He gave to me and the least I can give in return is my whole heart. What good is love if Love is not present?

 

            God’s love speaks in the beginning what will be in the end while His promise is yet without substance, but faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1) God’s devotion is to those who serve Him with their whole heart. Though this Christian walk seems hard at times because of the illusions, His yoke is easy because we simply hold His hand and let him guide us to our destination.

            King Solomon was a man who walked after God’s law, just as his father David had done. One night when Solomon was at Gibeon to offer sacrifices to the Father, God came to Solomon in his dream. God was so pleased with Solomon’s worship that He promised to give Solomon whatever he desired. Solomon was a young man anointed for a great position and he wished to be a good ruler for God’s people, so he asked God for an understanding heart to lead God’s people and the gift to discern between good and evil. Solomon wasn’t worldly or selfish in his desires so God blessed Solomon with not only wisdom, but honor and riches.

It is when our heart is at worship that God offers his blessings. At worship, our concerns are God’s concerns. Our spirit is as God’s spirit. The bible says, in Romans 8, that “the spirit helps our infirmities, for we know not what we should pray for as we ought.” (Romans 8:26) Jesus said when speaking with the Samaritan woman that we should worship in spirit and in truth. The spirit makes intercession for the saints according to God’s will, (Romans 8:27) so it’s no wonder God showed up while Solomon was resting at Gibeon. God will not offer such a gift if our heart is not at worship because it is likely that we will ask selfishly. Solomon loved God, and God loved him back.

 

            For a while, Solomon continued after God’s will. He built the temple for God’s people to worship in, as God promised David, and prayed for God’s mercy toward His people. Solomon also continued to make sacrifices to God. Then, the bible says that Solomon loved many strange women. I’m not sure how he managed, but Solomon had 700 wives and 300 Concubines. In Solomon’s old age, his wives and concubines turned his heart away and he began to serve other God’s and his heart was no longer perfect with the Lord. Solomon did evil in God’s eyes, so God took Solomon’s throne from him and gave it to his servant. God promised to give the kingdom over to his son in order to keep his promise to David. So Solomon’s son inherited the tribe of Judah and the other eleven tribes were given to another.

            When Solomon turned his heart away from God, Solomon lost everything. What else should we expect when we choose not to worship God? Worship requires sacrifice and obedience which is love. According to Romans 1, the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth of unrighteousness. Jesus said, “If you love me you will keep my commandments.” (John 14:15)

 

            Not only has God promised us a fulfilled life under His will, which deserves our worship, but He is God and His sovereignty is worth honor alone. It is not a secret who God is. The stars sketch his name across the heavens, His name is written across the earth’s green grass, His strength is mighty to keep the forest trees standing tall, and every being glorifies him with each breath and each crease in the palm of our hands. When the sun rises and sets, we feel his power. When the birds mingle, we see his love. When the lions roar, we know God’s faithfulness. Out of foolishness, some people deny his power and avoid his majestic reign. They become focused on God’s presents and not the presence of his glory. There was once a time when His glory was too much for our tainted eyes, and Christ’s gift allowed His glory to shine, though we were not worthy. Some times we want more of God’s presents than to bask in the glory that cost a righteous life. We must be cautious, because everything on this earth means nothing if we are without love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faith and self-control. These are the fruits of the spirit and without worship the spirit is far from us. God is willing to give us that which our hearts seek after.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

James 4:7-10, NIV

If our hearts seek after worldly desires, God will give us over to a reprobate mind. This mind will allow us to focus on our own lusts and will most likely conflict with God’s will. God’s will is life and life more abundantly, so the road our flesh desires leads to death.

God’s love is amazing, so we call him our true love. Love is why He keeps his promises. Love is why we do not worry. Love is why God is faithful. Love is why we worship the Father and Creator of all things. Love makes everything perfect, and God’s love is committed to blessing the ones who love him back.                                                                            

Higher Expectations

In the summer of 2010 bloomed uncertainty and ignited fireworks in my life. I left my mother's house, about 30 minutes north of Pittsburgh, PA, to move to Maryland. It was time for a change. My focus was simple: M.A. in Organizational Communications and personal growth, not regression. I believe that I started off with $100 after I made my first payment toward tuition. Mission one: find a job. I moved to the DMV with no understanding of the impact that government has on the area (duh!). I was clueless. My first job was at a government contractor. After about a week of filing (I was a office clerk), I finally asked a Human Resources manager to explain to me what government contractors do. I walked away from that job with a grain of knowledge, but I never considered that I would ever need to know a thing about government contractors. I went on to work in retail and when I realized that I was struggling to survive my new adventure, I became so despondent and developed thoughts of giving up; believe me, this wouldn't be the only time I'd threaten to return home. I asked  friends for referrals and uploaded tons of resumes and cover letters. I applied for everything that could possibly relate to a journalist. It had been months and I heard not one word from one company-- so I cried. I wailed to God and to close friends and decided that I was not going to leave my bed until I figured out how to get home (my car broke down the day I arrived in Maryland). Then, there was a way out not even a day later, less than a day later I received a call from a government contractor telling me that he found my resume on Monster and he was wondering if I would like to be a Technical Writer making $30,000 a year. Needless to say, I was thrilled. I didn't care how much he was offering, all I knew was that it was more than minimum wage and a resume booster. Within this time span that I struggled to survive my new environment, I dealt with numerous hurdles that only added stress and pain to my life. Satan was kicking my behind and was determined for me to fail and lose everything that God had for me. But this journal that I am sharing with you is not about my obstacles, pain, and disappointments; the stories that I share are about my higher expectations. I moved to Maryland on faith alone. I was told that I wouldn't last a month. I was broke. It was me, myself, and God. One year later, I am successful and spiritually blessed. I have an awesome career and I am looking forward to so much more. I can see how God has mapped out my life. One opportunity leads to another and each one will be better than the last. God has given me peace, love, joy, and true favor, because no matter what I faced or how I felt, I had higher expectations. I believed what God told me about my future and I wasn't letting any demon in hell stop me from being who my Father called me to be. The prose that I share with you are designed to encourage God's people to think higher! Above the status quo. Beyond what our eyes can see. Through the obstacles and mountains before us. We press on toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus, because we know that the sufferings of the present time do not compare to the glory that will be revealed in us. (Philippians 3:14, Romans 8:18) All things work together for the good of those who love God and because we believe that God is and is a rewarder of them who diligently seek Him (Romans 8:28, Hebrews 11:6), we think higher because we know that nothing is impossible for God. No vision is too complex for God to speak into existence and there is not a single journey that requires anything more than a word from God. 


Having said this, let me introduce to you, "Higher Expectations: Old Things are Passed Away." I will share with you a plethora of various forms of prose that will encourage the both of us to press on. We will not forget the lessons we learned from the past, but we will forget how it numbed us and how it lied to us and convinced us that we couldn't be more. Now that we are in Christ, we are new creatures shaped and formed to be victorious through miraculous events that reap remarkable testimonies about how we thought higher and achieved greater things both in our spirit and in our physical world with faith in God. So, until next time, be blessed and think higher :)
Please follow me, and feel free to comment. Tell me what you think about the stories and inspirational prose that I share with you or how you can relate. I look forward to hearing from you!


Love, 
Chéri Monique Langston